Official Rules and Owner’s Manual for your 2019 MOM SX9000E
The following rules are to be adhered to on pain of horrible death, or even somethingserious:
Rule 1 – There are no rules in M.O.M.
Rule 2 – There is no lying in M.O.M.
Rule 3 – Rule 2 is a lie.
Rule 4 – No venturing off the game map or environment. All M.O.Ms must remain on the map for the duration of the game, quest, battle, mission or until killed, whichever comes first a few thousand times in a row every day. Any M.O.M found playing outside the map will be viewed as innovative and summarily promoted to co-Creative Director of M.O.M. Don't say you weren't warned.
Rule 5 – Language: M.O.M approves of language. As a M.O.M member you are encouraged to use a language when speaking. A M.O.M speaking in other than a language runs the risk of not being understood by anyone. Aside from your imaginary pet stoat. Whose name if it isn't already should be Luther. M.O.M has always wanted a pet stoat named Luther but M.O.M's mom wouldn't let M.O.M. M.O.M's mom could be mean.
Rule 7 – Numbers are almost as important as words and no number is more important than 7, unless it’s 6. What you can remember of your education is a wonderful thing, kids. Stay in school.
Rule 8 – Punctuality: Any M.O.M member who doesn’t show up on time for his shift will be docked a half day’s pay. Minors will be denied bathroom breaks. Miners will be fined half their coal.
Rule 9 – All members of M.O.M. must be courteous to fellow players. Say “Thank you so much” after demolishing someone. If it happens to be a player you despise, say, “Thank you so much you miserable #&%%*$&ing son of a ^@*$&.” A M.O.M is nothing if not always polite.
Rule 10 – All members will adhere to the M.O.M Universal Principles of Gaming, as follows:
Run/crawl/drive/fly/teleport around the fake landscape like a fake naked tripping nitwit.
Have some CAKE.
Amendments to the MOMstitution
Rule 11 - In the absence of suitable cake, a biscuit, flan, danish, muffin, strudel, floating island/šnenokle, allerheilligenstrietzel, marillenknödel, tompouce, cremeshnitte, eightball of crack or Oreo may be substituted. Sorry, no pie.
Age and Other Requirements for Membership in M.O.M.:
Gamers applying for membership must be between the ages of 21 and 174. Unless you’re really, really good at something. Then you can be 3 and we wouldn’t give a rat’s ascot.
For the most part M.O.M. members are in their 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s, 70’s after which point we forget how to count that high or what we just had for lunch. It looked like it used to be peas.
Applications will be subject to review by the M.O.M Human Resources Star Chamber. In case of a 1-0 tie the applicant him/herself will have the tie breaking vote and the vote will be a compulsory "undecided in absentia".
Applications should be submitted in the form of a hand written email drawn on your display with pretty decorations in either poster paint, colored pencil, crayon or the blood of a virgin. M.O.M is a supporter of the arts.
And here, because we know you're dyin' for it, is the legal fine print. M.O.M's print is so fine.
M.O.M momworldorder.com Site Rules and Regulations
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Aside from all that, though, it’s just a casual video game club with virtual CAKE.